Epidemic!!!

The scariest and most prevalent STI that's been sweeping the 242 for a while now, has got to be without a doubt PREGNANCY [cue bloodcurdling scream]. The thing is, i'm dead serious. Everyone and their mummy sportin' the prego look nowadays. I'm a big fan of sexual independence and i preach the scriptures of hedonism but come on folks, put some thought into it. If you are a girl and KNOW that you like to do the deed invest in a contraceptive that YOU can control..cause rubbers break and (even though AIDS flyin all over the place) dudes are still stupid enough to keep strokin and finish off inside of you.

Blah, i'm not a religous person at all and don't have the whole "babies are gifts from God" thing going on. For your average bahamian, they are reminders that your folks found a mutual attraction or mummy was sick for attention (bless their sad souls). So to stem this epidemic i propose the "S.L.U.T" test (Sexual Literacy or Understanding Test) to ensure that only those responsible enough to wield their swords, daggers, sword/dagger sheaths, sword/dagger ROOMS (cause we all know some can and DO hold more than one at a time) do so with enlightened minds.

That is all...

The SIGNS!!!!

Ever since joining the ever growing amount of internet users back in '97 the messenger screen name has always played a vital role. It often dsiplayed one's feelings at the time, or even their favourite music artist. Personally I always aimed to make mine one of 3 possible things, either witty enough for people to comment, complex enough for people to comment, or just something that signified change. As you can see the point was to invoke thought within the reader.

Nowadays sign in names are anything but unique and original. You can log on and at any time will find that 85% of your list have sign in names declaring their undying love (while still teens) for their significant other, their outcries against cheating, and in my case more and more are advertising their love for their newborns. I think if a sociologist was to sit down and scan through screen names, they would have a more accurate make up of todays youth than straight out asking them.

I guess what i'm saying is that through somethign as simple as a messenger screen name we are becoming more of a outspoken people the likes of jamaica, dominica, etc instead of keeping things within a relatively closed circle. so in short...want to know the current trends? watch the damned sign in names...amen.

Sickening

g'day folks!!! long time no write, during the last month or so of sitting on my bum...i realised that unless you are into the cramped up sweaty smoky sardine cans we call clubs in nassau, there isn't ANYTHING to do for fun. Well if you have a girl that's a different story altogether but this is me we're talking about...i would have a better chance of stealing a stick of butter from oprah when she was huge.

But the burning question is...why does nassau suck so much goat testicles? I think it may heavily be related to the fact that your average bahamian has no identity. In the bahamas there are 2 glaring influences, american materialism and a "supposed" jamaican mentality. i say supposed because i've met many different types of jamaicans and the ones that possess the same mentality as the uninspired idiot clones sicken me...the type of mentality that defines anyone who doesnt fit your mold as "not-cool".

I find it strange that bahamians don't care about their own culture and history until two weeks before independence day. well not strange, saddening...for the rest of the year you will hear "wha a gwan".."how it go"..and other random dancehall utterances and examples of jamaican culture but for those 2 weeks you will see more gold, black, and aquamarine than thought to be possible. A flash in the pan sense of national pride.

I think i'll end it here because i'm getting a headache just thinking about it, but the way i see it, bahamians who always complain when they see a haitian flag on a car or t-shirt...need to look inwards and ask themselves why is rocking an american flag or jamaican one the cool thing to do? but then again i've lost faith in this country to rise above it's current mental state.

Am I A Drunkard?

I don't know what the deal is lately but it seems that everyone that matters to me; family, friends, family friends, seem to think that i drink in excess. i mean hell, to me drinking in excess is when you are already drunk out of your mind and doing stupid things. But me, when i drink...i'm calm, collective, and think about how the world screws me over on a daily basis.

But alas, this is the second time that someone (this time a group) has sat me down and lectured me on the perils of the bottle *cowers in fear*. The way i see it, if i drink too much...i throw up, wash my mouth out and get some sleep. no biggie.

But then again it could also stem from my deep seeded belief that my life is one cruel joke and that no matter what i do, people will hate me...but that's a completely different blog entry all together. *goes to write blog now*

So my question is, am i drunkard because i've become increasingly dependant on the bottle to relieve my boredom? Let a Poet know folks......

My dominican baboon experience

yyyyyup, so it's been an unbearable 6+ months living with the baboonicus dominicus or the famed dominican baboon if you want to get down to it. After such a long period of time i can honestly say that this has got to be the most unevolved primate known to this bahamian. This specimen is known to leave it's outer wear, which can include but is not often limited to shirts, pants, socks, and boots scattered indiscriminatley throughout the living room area.

A prime example of the magnitude of filth that this filthy breed of baboon exhibits was the time that i went to visit a friend in her home town for the weekend. When i came back i could not help but be disgusted at the scene that laid before my eyes and was quick to display it! It turns out that our dear baboon friend was lying down in his cage/room and most likely heard it all, because when i came out of my room 2 hours later, all was taken care of....good baboon, here's your treat.

BUt alas, what saddens me more than the sheer grime that results whenever the baboon is around is the ignorance and utter stupidity that i am privy to witness. Apparently to this baboon, if you hang with someone of another race you are a traitor even though this particular baboon is off a mixed breed. poor confused baboon. It must be hard to be that stupid and still try to classify what is "real".